What do you do when you feel uncomfortable with who you are? Do you wallow in despair or sadness? It’s time to discover how to connect and communicate with yourself. Listen to this episode as Kass Thomas shares how to embrace your authenticity and uniqueness to live the life you deserve. Kass is a successful business entrepreneur and communication expert. The depth and range of her life and career experiences inspire people to explore more choices and find the changes they are looking for. She emphasizes that once we are connected with ourselves and are willing to acknowledge what’s unique and different and sometimes quirky about us, then we’re going to lead a purposeful life. Tune in to learn more about how you could empower and transform your life.
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Connecting With Yourself: Discovering Your Unique Brand Of Magic With Kass Thomas
Welcome to this episode. I am so delighted to have you here. I want to thank you if this is your first time reading. If you’ve been reading for a while, thank you so much for continuing to do so. I want to remind everybody when we’re finished and I will remind you when we are finished to make sure that you give us a great five-star rating and write a review.
You have to put at least a few words in there for the review to take hold. The more that you do that, the more we can continue to bring you on these great episodes and great interviews. My guest is Kass Thomas. Her life has been nothing short of an adventure. Having started working at the early age of fourteen. She has had a sense of pride, commitment and passion for everything that she’s done.
She’s worked in the hospitality world and on Broadway. She is in theaters. She lives overseas. If you’re reading from overseas, you’re wondering what overseas means but she lives everywhere. She’s a nomad. I feel like I’m a nomad sometimes too. Her real calling is finding her calling as an empowerment and transformation coach teaching consciousness. Welcome to the show, Kass. We’re so happy to have you.
Thank you so much. Grazie.Connect with you because all types of communication start with you. Click To Tweet
Merci. I’ll give you a little back on here. One of the things that I do is I have something called seven strategies to change your business mindset. I feel like this is something that I encourage all my coaching students and people that I say, “Go get that.” It’s a very thought-provoking PDF that asks several questions but one question, in particular is about knowing where you’re at, thinking through that and saying is, “Where I’m at right now, where I want to be? Should I be moving out of my comfort zone? Are there some relationships that need attention that feel bad that I need to be working on? Have I set boundaries for myself that I could so that I could live the best life for me?”
That particular question is why I was so interested in having you on the show because it’s all about consciousness. This is a perfect time of the year to be exploring this. You’re an author. You have a book called Dancing with Riches. It’s the riches that you have in your life and then you have your book, 7steps in many languages.
The first thing I want to talk about is the relationship that we have with ourselves and then we can talk about communication because that’s something else that you love. Tell us about how you explored this in your life and started becoming aware of the relationship you had with yourself. We know you do a lot of bodywork. We run 100 miles an hour and we don’t stop to think about what our body or spirit is telling us inside.
It feels so at home with this conversation and your PDF is about seven steps. The first phase of my 7steps program is about connecting with you. That’s your question because a lot of times the 7steps to flawless communication the book and the program that I have their teachers around the world and so many people ask me about communicating. “How do you communicate? This is my goal in communication. I’d like to better my communication,” either with themselves, their body, friends, employees and jobs. Many people try to communicate when they’re not connected with themselves.
The first phase and the first 2 steps, the 7 steps and my 3 steps program has connected with you because it’s all types of communication. It starts with you and how often do we think somebody’s not receiving us or something that we’re doing like you were saying is not working for us. Is that true? If you’re not connected with yourself or if you’re not having a presence in your life, is it with you that it’s not connecting? Is it with that role model or that idea, that idol or image that you think you should be?
One of my taglines in that first book is there’s so much more that unites us than separates us. You’ve got a body. I’ve got a body but the thing is that what’s different about us is not what’s wrong about us. A lot of times we don’t want to acknowledge that but what if that was our unique brand of magic. If you’re willing to recognize that your home is the same as everyone else’s, you live on planet Earth.
Your home is the same as everyone else. You can step out, share that with the world, invite others to see that and that’s why I love the name of the show too. It’s not just about you having success. It is also about you recognizing how that can be a contribution to not only your future but the future of others.
Thank you so much. That was very poignant and important too because I asked a very direct question and you answered it very fluffy, which I love because it was needed to get us started. I go for it. This concept of consciousness for ourselves is increasing awareness. I probably said it on this show before but I had a story of an event that I had put on and I run around like a chicken with my head cut off because all these people are coming to this event. I got to say hi to everybody. It’s like a bride at a wedding.Step into your life and see the world from your perspective. Click To Tweet
Later I said to several of the people over there, “Could you give me three words to describe me because I’m working on my brand?” Everything came in with all these beautiful accolades. “You’re great.” One came in saying not present and I thought, “I have to put my big girl panties on and call this person because if I don’t address this, that’s not good. I have to address this.” I call and go, “You said this and I don’t know. I’m afraid to ask.” His point was that everything I was doing was outward. Pushing out where the busyness of being busy. The glorification of being busy.
I wasn’t connecting with anyone but that’s because I wasn’t connecting with myself. I had this preconceived notion of who I needed to be rather than being. That difference between doing, versus being. What you brought up when you answered this question is that we have to increase the awareness and consciousness of how we’re showing up so that we can make that impact on ourselves and the rest of the world. There are so many opportunities I’m sure I missed because I wasn’t present even though I was there.
You’re bringing tears to my eyes. It’s so in line with what I also invite people to. I love it and even if you’ve said this on many different shows, there’s a slight difference in the way you’re saying it now and you are very present. Please acknowledge that.
How does someone start creating that self-awareness or self-consciousness to dig deep and find their vulnerability? I have a little plaque that says, “Be yourself. Everybody else is taken.” How does someone dig in and find themselves so that they can make connections later after they’ve connected with themselves?
Whatever way works for them. I have several different ways that I invite people to do that in very simple ways because it’s quite easy to focus on business, on other people and on things that are outside of you. That expression that the universe, God, Allah, Buddha and however you want to say has hidden us in a place where we would never look inside of ourselves.
Recognizing what is your vibration. It’s slightly different but since we’re all at home here, if you were not connected with what is in your vibration, something’s missing in the world. A lot of times we think that concentrating on ourselves first is being egotistical, egoistic or not caring about other people. If you are trying to give to others out of your half-empty cup and first of all the water is a little stale and also it’s empty, the gift that you could be to so many other people is not there. What would it take for you or for each one of us to fill our cup up? Let it run over so that it’s fresh. It’s always renewed and that there’s always something there for us.
One of the ways that I invite people is to step into your life and see the world from your perspective and what’s different about that. I can tell you 100 things at this moment about you that maybe you have acknowledged and some of them don’t acknowledge it. It’s easy for others to see our unique brand of magic but are we willing to acknowledge it and maybe we consider it as something that is a judgment. I love that this guy you called and allowed yourself to receive that. Not as a judgment but as an invitation for you to step into your life.
Show me the magic, which is step one in that seven steps. What is the way that you see the world that’s different than others? What is it that you do that maybe everyone does? You probably get up in the morning. You wake up, get up, go and brush your teeth but you probably do it in a different way than I do. The way you talk or share something might be the same story or invitation but it’s a little bit different. When we are connected with ourselves, our bodies resonate in line with our vibration. Who and what shows up in our lives is very different when we are connected and when we have stepped into our lives and saw the world from our perspective.It's easy for others to see our unique brand of magic, but we must be willing to acknowledge them. Click To Tweet
We can step up and acknowledge some of our unique qualities and possibilities and acknowledge that if we are unique in a certain way, everybody else is too. We’re talking about communication. When you’re looking at somebody, even the most boring person in the world should it be in this world, how could you be in a body with all the molecules, cells, blood, air and all that’s moving around and be boring? You must be unique. You must have talent and ability.
It’s in the eye of the beholder. They might be boring at that moment because they’re not in alignment with what they should be doing.
There’s something that is knocking on their door that if you were not willing to be distracted by boredom, anger, fear, guilt and a lot of these things in Access Consciousness, we call them the distractor implants, if you were not being distracted by sadness or depression, what would you be aware of? Especially at this particular time, there is so much going on and so much that others are feeling. In particular so many people have written that they’re feeling a bit strange. They don’t know what they want to do with their business.
We were forced to slow down so we could look at things. Even though everyone has encouraged people to do that, we were forced to do it. It was there and it was present in front of us and we didn’t have a choice. Get our big girl panties on and address it too. I want to talk a little bit about mindset and body because what we’re talking about here is recognizing your gifts, being your genuine self, finding that inner person, slowing down a little bit and those types of things. Have you ever walked during the day and you feel like you’re just a degree or two off, one way or another?
I always see that as I’m slightly off-kilter then my mind and my body have not connected. I have done something or something has hit me. Maybe I’ve read an email, got a voicemail or somebody was nasty. Maybe I didn’t sleep well and something is off. I try to talk myself into it. “I don’t know why I’m off. Things are good. I can do it,” but it all seems to stay on the checkup from the neck up and the association with the body is so important to get that off-kilter back on track. Not literally, I don’t walk around crooked but a lot of us work on our minds so much that we let the body go. How do we plug the two in?
If you plug the two, we have minds, bodies, spirits in these beings, that space between the molecules. If you are willing to even for ten seconds when you wake up in the morning to connect to you, it can be something so simple. Some people do meditation and mantras. It’s a great mantra. All of life comes to me with ease, joy and glory.
One of the things I invite people also to ask is to touch your heart when you wake up and say, “Good morning, body.” Feel your heartbeat because a lot of times we are so disconnected. We’re already in our minds. Sometimes you can’t feel your heartbeat. I remember I was at a conference once and it was quite late. I had a speaking engagement, wake up in the morning and go. I was in the car all dressed up but I wasn’t present there.
I put my hand on my heart. I could not feel my heart beating. I put my hand on my pulse and I started counting the pulse. That’s simple. Even if you’re concentrating. One beep, bump. Have you been present with you? I remember years ago when I was living in New York, I said, “This presence thing, I want to get what this is about.” I went to Martha’s Vineyard and rode on my little bike to the sea of the ocean every morning and swim with the senior citizens, the polar bears and on my way to the sea. I would see the birds and the kids running around. When they left, I’d get down to doing what I thought was required to be present with myself. Tiger Eyes and my books on meditation.There's so much more that unites us than separates us. Click To Tweet
For a month I did that. I went back to New York and as you do, you write a little journal about that. What I realized is how I was present every morning. Every morning I was going to the sea with the trees, enjoying nature and swimming in the ocean with the senior citizens. When I was being present, I didn’t even have to do anything.
When I started doing what I thought was required then it was so disconnected. The invitation is in the morning, whatever it takes. Use one of these things that we have mentioned to you and that when you start the day. Once you have stepped in three steps and then you can step out in a very different way in the world, it’s an easy road back to you. We’ve got to have that right road back to us because stuff shows up. A car might crash in front of you. All these things and it’s like, “Let me take a breath in. Let me put my hand on my heart. If I don’t feel it, let me put it on the pulse.”
First of all, I love to step in to step out. I have to step in to be one with myself before I can step out into the world and be prepared.
Step up also before stepping out because when you step up, what you are willing to do is see yourself and see what is different about your talents, abilities and also those of others. That when you step out there, you are not lacking self-esteem, authenticity and self-confidence. You can receive people’s comments the way they communicate, which may not be the way you’re used to it or the way that is friendly to you but it does not diminish you and you never step back or step down.
That’s one of the things that I’m working on with my husband because I’m very deep into prayer, meditation and then physical but my husband doesn’t breathe. He’s breathing or he’d be dead but a lot of don’t take deep breaths in and deep breaths out. When we’re in this constant state of fight or flight, fear or fawning. We’re in all of these states all day long. It’s so intense and nobody’s taking a deep breath. I do it pretty much all the time. I use my show to do it. I take deep breaths while someone’s speaking because we need to take those deep breaths to recenter throughout the day with our body.
It is such a contribution health-wise to your body also. A lot of times how you recognize when you are connected with you and when you are present with you, your breathing changes. Your body is communicating with you through breathing. We’re not saying for anyone reading that you breathe incorrectly because as Jen said, “If you’re still alive, you’re breathing fine.”
This is an invitation for you if you’re willing to utilize that capacity you have and the way you do it differently, maybe you go into apnea or something. The way you do it differently gets you to begin the transformation that you’d like to see. You’ve succeeded in being alive. How can you then start to survive but thrive?
I love breathing because it does take you out of whatever state you’re in. It is an emotional change. I was laughing about this when you were talking about your body. I said to my husband, I’m like, “I don’t understand it. How can I go to bed healthy and wake up injured?” The older I get, I wake up injured. When I wake up, my body says, “Excuse me. My back hurts. You slept with your wrist folded down and now your wrist hurts.” My body pretty much takes charge of me. I don’t have to tell it anything. It makes me think about my body. It’s the first thing that says it. It’s funny.
I love that because step two in my 7steps is to talk to your body. The way your body is communicating to you is through that and maybe you can say to your body, “I’m so sorry, body. What can I do for you to make you feel amazing?” Your body has a new regimen for you. The moment that you begin engaging with your body, maybe I always invite people, “When does the joke that you can tell your body and only the tool you would laugh at because it’s an experience you’ve had together that nobody else has had.” When you begin engaging with your body like that, you never get bored.
Let’s transition a little bit and talk about the connection with people. We’ve got our body and mind right. We feel our gift. We’re centered. We’ve got our vulnerability and confidence there. We are uniquely aware. We’re about ready to go out and do. How can we transcend that into the relationships we have?
I’ve had mornings where I am so centered and then my husband calls me. He’ll call me and I am just off-kilter the rest of the day. I was having such a great day. What the French toast. How do we create a boundary for ourselves to protect ourselves but still allow the ability to communicate with people and respond?
First of all, there’s so much more that unites us than separates us. Once we are connected with ourselves and willing to acknowledge what’s unique, different and sometimes quirky about us then we are willing to see when we get disconnected from ourselves. When we put up those walls and barriers, we put on that mask and be somebody that we think we’re supposed to be.
When we recognize that showing up in our bodies or when our bodies communicate, we feel a little uncomfortable. We can lower those barriers. I do work with people, showing them an easy way to lower those barriers and your body gets more comfortable. We reconnect with people differently and we’re willing to see it from their perspective because if somebody calls you and they are aggressive, annoying or not connecting with you, maybe you can see the world what’s going on with them. How much does it have to do with you, how they’re approaching and how much does it have to do with what’s up for them? When you do have barriers up in that way, count to ten. Not out loud. You don’t have to.
Give it a little bit of silence and watch how it changes what they see next because if we’re willing to engage with people differently then resistance. Not necessarily in the same way they are and ask yourself. I have lots of questions. That’s also how my body, awareness, spirit and being will communicate to me. What is it that I can say and respond at this moment to my husband? That will have the patient be a lot more fun for me.
Not measuring or not meeting them where they’re at or whatever they’re dealing with, sometimes that happens at least with marriages. In the work place, we’re a lot better at that. If someone’s upset, we’re much better at calming them down and being the voice of reason but in tight relationships, we take them for granted and we meet them where they’re at.
You bring up a good point. When you said that, I haven’t counted to ten or anything but I have met him at a lower frequency to bring his frequency down and then we were able to better communicate but it was because I initiated it. We can’t rely on the fact that everyone else is going to initiate it so we have to be the leader in that relationship and of our own being to make that happen.
What is the objective in doing that so that your life and your day can be more pleasant? First stepping into you, allows you to step up in a very different way so that when you’re stepping out, you’re not offending anyone else and you’re engaging with them in a great way. People think a lot of times, “I’m connecting with me. I’m spending so much time on me but how much is that a contribution to others?” like with work and in business, yes, we’re willing to be that and do that for others. What about people who have been with us for many years? What’s the gift that we can be for them? How much will that help us for the next following years?
It’s amazing how that comfort level also allows for them to communicate. There’s this level of confidence that he comes in that I’m going to take anything that he’s bringing. When I come right at him with it then it can escalate because he’s always in that high state. He says all the time, “Why can’t it be easy? Why does everything have to be difficult?” I go, “It’s because you keep saying that. That’s why.”
Years ago, we were sitting at the table having dinner and my husband is Italian as well. He was saying to me, “This is what you need to do with your business. You need to do this and you do this.” He didn’t even say, “I think you need to do this. This is what you have to do.” I’m like, “Okay.” Then I was like, “I am not doing that. That is not the way I’m doing it.” He said, “Calm down. It’s your business. You’re successful in your business. This is the way I’m sharing some suggestions. This is the way I talk.” I was like, “This is the way you share it.”
If we’re willing to see things from other people’s perspectives on how they do, you could say, “Take a moment for a second. I’m loving that you’re sharing all of this with me. Can you take a moment for a second?” Maybe you pretend you have a call. They calm down for a second and you can reapproach the conversation but it was so interesting that he said that to me, “Why are you reacting like that? This is a suggestion.”
I was meeting where you’re at. That tendency, instead of recognizing that we don’t have to meet everyone where they’re at and we certainly would not do that in the workplace. It has been a pleasure. Can you believe we have gone over time? We’re having so much fun. I know you have a free gift for everybody. Tell us a little bit about the gift, about what they could get with the free gift that you’ve offered on your website.
Wouldn’t it be lovely to have a cup of coffee together? What I have prepared for you is a coffee with Kass and talking about some of the topics that we’ve been talking about, sharing some of my experiences and inviting you to look at it in a very different way. The gift is called Coffee with Kass.
As we leave, what would you like to share with everyone? If there’s one thought that you could leave based on our conversation someone who’s exploring this consciousness and saying, “I’ve got to get a little bit more control back into my person before I can go out and do this new business, go out and network, before I can try to speak on stage or talk to my kids.” What advice do you want to give them? What words of wisdom?
When we talk about consciousness, this is a little gift for you. Consciousness is who and what we are. It’s not about teaching you consciousness. It’s about letting meltdown all of the form, structure and significance that you’re giving to building your life so that you can access your consciousness and be empowered by that to know that you know what is right for you.
Once you’re willing to be connected with your vibration, you will see everything that’s already there before you on a silver platter, waiting for you to choose it. You don’t have to decide. It’s a little bit different if you choose it because if it’s not working, you can choose something else without going into the wrongness of you.
Thank you so much. It was beautiful. Well said. Kass, it’s been a pleasure chatting with you. This is a space that I love being in. This is why this show is Success to Significance because it’s the mechanics and then the mindset. It’s both and it can’t be one-sided. I so appreciate it. I hope that everyone who’s reading has gained something from this episode. You reach out to Kass and have some coffee with her.
Get her books. I can’t wait to get Dancing with Riches. That’s probably one of my favorite ones that I want to get. I thank you for sharing this in the world. You’re making a big impact over there in Europe. I saw on your website, you’ve got tons of events coming up. Go visit her website and make sure that you get involved. This is something that resonates with you. Thank you for sharing your time with us. I appreciate it.
Thank you for being on the planet at the same time I am. I’m happy.
Thanks. We’ll catch you on the next episode.
- Kass Thomas
- Dancing with Riches
- 7steps – Program
- Tiger Eyes
- Coffee with Kass
- https://www.Facebook.com/BeingKass – The Art of Being Kass