Living life with confidence is easier said done. When you’ve gone through the thick of life, it’s hard to push through and come out the other end. But it is possible. Ebony Moore is a powerhouse in motivational speaking, women empowerment, and self-confidence. She is a certified coach, CEO of the Enchanted Reflections Modeling Studio, and host of Bosswife.live podcast. She joins Jen Du Plessis to share her inspiring story of finding that confidence and now helping others do the same. Listen in for an enlightening and moving conversation on fostering self-love and becoming the reflection you want to see in the mirror.
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Reflecting Confidence: Be The You You Want To See In The Mirror With Ebony Moore
I’m delighted to have Ebony Moore with us. Welcome Ebony. How are you?
I’m good. How are you?
I’m good, and I’m so excited that we finally got together. The third time is a charm. We’ve had all kinds of little issues and mishaps, but I’m excited to be here with you. I want to say thank you for having me on your show as well. I’m happy to have you here with me. Let me tell everyone a little bit about you. You are a powerhouse in motivational speaking, women empowerment, and self-confidence. She’s the CEO and Founder of the Enchanted Reflections Modeling Studio, host of Bosswife.live podcast. a Motivational Speaker and Certified Coach.
You do a lot of self-care, self-love, self-confidence, self-worth right and all of those things, and I find it very interesting that you stepped into this world. My first question is, how did you get into this? What was the impetus or the inspiration that drew you into working in this world based on what you were doing before?
What I did before is the same thing. I’m in healthcare. I love taking care of people. That’s always been my passion. Before that, I’ve always been in modeling. I was a child model. After I had my family, I started raising my kids. I wasn’t working. I was a stay-at-home mom until they got into school. They were into acting and modeling. I’m in Chattanooga, so we traveled to Atlanta because we were so close and they audition and shows there.
We went back and forth, then it started to wear on me, and then I realized, “You don’t have anything like that here. We have an acting place here. We have schools that do theater and singing, but we don’t have the actual studio that houses everything under one roof.” I’ve taken my passion and their passion. I created that one house, and I love it. That’s my passion.
I love putting back into children and people, women, men, everybody, but most of all, I realized the moment after I had my kids that I no longer like looking at me. I no longer realized that I was worth looking at, talking about, or developing. It was a problem because, at that point, I realized I was raising girls and boys and had to make them believe that they were worth something.
I think a lot of women go through that. After having children, it’s all about the details of the kids, and then at some point, they’re like, “I’ve got to take care of me.” It’s put your mask on first and help others. I know you’re very involved in your church, helping young women in the Christian counsel and all of that is important. This all perpetuates through your entire life using modeling as a place to start here.It doesn’t matter where you are. All that matters is how you get to where you are and who you do when you get there. Click To Tweet
There’s some more depth there. It’s not that easy. You’re not going to get away with this answer. It’s like, “We did all this modeling stuff and I feel like you have to have self-worth.” There’s got to be something in your life that propels you to want to help people. What are you seeing around you that is lacking in self-worth and self-love that makes you say, “I have to help people?”
Suicide is very important to me. I was fifteen when I tried to commit suicide. It wasn’t talked about, it was frowned upon, and it wasn’t okay. It wasn’t like, “Let’s go get counseling.” In the Black community, it’s like, “Let’s go get to the church.”
In any community, if you were talking about years ago, now mental health has a lot of support mechanisms around. When people were starting to get divorced in the 50s and 60s, it was like, “We don’t talk about that.” What did you do to find support for yourself? How did you do that? You went to church and that’s probably where you found the support, but where did that switch that you said, “I bet this is happening around my area, and I know that I can make an impact.”
I got involved with the Women’s Shelter and Girls Inc., and I’m raising my kids. The questions that they started coming home with and the things that they were dealing with broke my heart. I found my daughter googling things. I’m like, “Where are you coming up with this?”
I think this has to do a lot with the internet because it’s always a fear of missing out and comparing themselves. Particularly, you’re in a modeling agency so that exasperates that. It brings into the forefront and saying, “I need to look like this and be like that.” When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
I see ambition, innovation, glory, and somebody who can take on the world, but then when I go out in the world, I see somebody who’s very timid and easily taken over, someone who will back down and let somebody else take the glory. That’s not fair. Everybody has that double mirror. That’s why I named my modeling studio Reflection because you have to own your reflection. Even at home where you’re like, “I got this.” When you go out in the world and you’re looking at that person that is walking in their glory, you got to say, “They’re awesome too, but so am I.” You still have to walk in your reflection.
You have to own it and know regardless of whatever you go through. Those thoughts continue to come into your mind because we all have them. It doesn’t happen overnight. As you said, you’re not going to get away with it just because I was modeling. It doesn’t matter. Now, it was a transition. I’m still going through it, I still get down, depressed and have moments where I feel like I’m not worthy and I’m an imposter.
We have the imposter syndrome, but you have to remind yourself, “They started where I’m starting. Everybody had to go through this. We all have a common ground in life.” It doesn’t matter where you are. All that matters is how you get to where you are and what you do when you get there. It’s about helping people along the way, regardless of how much money you have, how big your house is or what kind of car you drive. Those things don’t matter because we can’t take them with us when we leave.
It doesn’t matter how big your house is if you’re not allowing people to live in your house with you. You have homeless people living around you, but you’re never helping people. If you’re not feeding people, what difference does it make of how much money you have? My kids are collecting candies and they’re like, “Where are we going to get all these candles?” “I don’t know, let’s go ask neighbors. Let’s go do what we have to do because it doesn’t matter where we are going to get it from and where we’re going get help, regardless.” It’s the small things that matter.
People don’t realize even in our businesses. I talked about this in my show. It’s the small victories that we have to celebrate. It doesn’t matter about the big things. That should sound like you’re helping people. When I was a teenager, it would have been awesome for somebody to me to say, “Ebony, I understand what you’re going through. We’ve all been there. I’m just here if you need to talk.”
It’s the small things that matter. With the girls that I helped with the Girls, Inc and the women at the Women’s Shelter, “I’ve been in an abusive relationship.” It doesn’t matter if I came out of it or if I’m still in it. All that matters is, “I’ve been where you been. I’m here. I have no judgment.” Sometimes, women don’t know how to come out of the relationship. They need somebody to say, “If you can’t come out at this moment, I’m here when you need that call in the middle of the night. I have that car running.”
It’s interesting because we can’t see our own ears. In anything, in business and life, sometimes we can’t see our ears and to be able to lean on someone for that. I love everything that you’re saying. It’s ironic because I got back from a retreat, I have a couple of retreats a year and we had 22 people at the retreat, and the retreat was called Reflections and Mirroring.Your past was your greatest accomplishment. Click To Tweet
I never tell anybody the name until they get there. I’ve done self-worth and net worth. I’ve done inner and outer space, and we had these cute alien bubble things that we put on in glasses that everybody had to wear. I always try to come up with something new and I’ll probably have to regurgitate some of these because I’m not that creative. I turned on Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror. I can’t even think of the words, but if you want to make the world a better place, you got to look at yourself and make a change. What we were doing was doing that reflection.
Everything that you’re talking about now and identifying our self-worth and looking at that, but here’s why I’m bringing this up because the rearview mirror in a car is very small and the windshield is huge. I think a lot of people have that backward. They look back and then they have this tiny future looking back.
When you look in your rearview mirror, what’s happening for you in moving forward, or if you can speak to this not only for you but what you see for people moving forward, what does that look like? What advice do you give people to look back, look forward, and some things to ensure that their self-worth, self-love, and self-confidence are bigger than whatever anything happened in the past?
Your past was your greatest accomplishment. Think about it when we were going through it, we felt like we couldn’t get through it. Once we got over, we were like, “I can’t believe I did that.” In the moment, it’s overwhelming, we’re broken and we feel like we can’t reach out, but then when you look back, it’s like, “It’s over. I did it.” Now that I’m looking forward, it’s like, “What’s next? I can take on that mountain,” because regardless of whatever comes, you’ve already thickened your skin and accomplished something.
Regardless of what you can do, you’ll say, “We did it,” so it doesn’t matter. It can be done. It’s not impossible. Nothing in front of you is impossible because somebody already did it. That means there are different ways to do it and that’s your way to do it, and then there’s somebody else’s way to do it. Learn what they didn’t do and you do it better.
Pull what your gifts are. People say a lot of things like, “That’s easy for you to say because you know how to do this.” Everybody has a gift. We have to look deep inside and find out what the gift is that we’re bringing to the world to overcome that. What you said was so powerful. What do you think is the greatest strength that you have that comes easy where everyone else goes, “I don’t know how you do that?” It’s your gift. What do you think is your greatest strength that, for everyone else, thinks it’s hard, but for you, it’s super easy?
It’s my greatest gift and my biggest failure. It is definitely love. I love heart, so with that in mind, when people say, “Can you do this?” I’m like, “I can do it.” I show up for people and it wears me out. It wears me thin, but you can depend on me. My greatest thing about me is if you need me, I’m there. That’s very important in confidence because if you know that you’re needed, you won’t take your life. If you know that you’re needed, you’ll do everything you can do to survive. That’s all that’s important. You know that you’re going to get up every morning and take care of yourself because somebody depends on you.
At that lowest moment, we feel like we’re not needed and not worth it. My life is no longer worth it. There’s nobody here that is going to miss me. There’s nobody else here on Earth that I can help. As women, we all cross the road at some point. We either get that slight thought or huge thought. It can be overpowering or it can be like, “Let me get over. Stop, get out of your pity party.” It’s true. If you don’t love yourself enough to say somebody needs you or depends on you, it’s hard.
I see that as a great gift because I’ve seen you at the secret knock and different things. We’ve talked and the energy that you have around you is great, and I know I have my energy too, but this is your moment to shine. I’m standing back and asking questions, but your energy is super powerful. It exudes all around you and it pulls people in. That gift that you have with your presence being there is a wonderful gift that comes so easily to you where others say, “I have to push. I have to pull. I have to go. I have to be part of it.” It’s your superpower.
This show is called Success to Significance, so it’s everything in between. It’s not, “I was successful and now I’m significant.” We’ve talked about some of the glass ceilings that you broke more glass and mirrors. It’s the theme now. It’s like Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. When you look forward now, what’s ahead for you personally? What does Ebony’s life look like? What does your business look like moving forward as you continue to tap into the impact and the significance in other lives?
I’m trying to spread the word. I want to spread my love, my confidence, and my joy. As you said, I want to spend my presence. I’m very humble, and I want other girls to know it’s okay to be humble. It’s okay that you’re not the wild cat in the room. That’s one thing that I teach the girls in the modeling studio. You don’t have to be the wild girl to be the popular girl.
That’s an attention-getter too. It’s a way of the lack of confidence.
It’s like, “If I’m not popular, then nobody knows me.” It’s okay. They don’t have to know your name. They just have to know what you stand for. I want people to know what Enchanted Reflection stands for and what my coaching business is Purposeful Thinking 360. I want them to know what it stands for. I want you to know that you can come to me for abuse, preparation for young girls, what not to get into relationships for.If you don’t do you, then you won’t be done. Click To Tweet
I’m here to help you with that as well. I’m going to help you with confidence coaching. I want people to know that I’m there for you to love you, help build you, and even help you build that confidence in getting a job or whatever you need to do. That’s what I’m trying to do for my businesses and for anybody that’s out there reading.
How can readers help you in this endeavor that you have? We have links where you can go to her website and get involved, but how can we help you spread in our areas so that this impacts filtrates everywhere?
Invite me to different speaking engagements, podcasts or whatever you guys have going on. I’m always available. I would love to travel. I don’t get to travel as much, but I’m open. As I said before, I’m very dependable. You ask me on there. If I have to come up with a chair or you need me to put out a plate, I’ll do it. I love being there for people doing whatever I have to do. That’s how you can help. I have links to my websites, podcasts, and even my modeling studio, whatever you guys need, and I’m there for you guys.
I love how you returned that. You turned it around. I said, “How do we help you,” and you said, “Here, I want to help you.”
That’s my biggest weakness. I don’t know how not to do that.
I’m going to ask you this question as we finish our time together. Let’s say I’m going to visit Chattanooga and you’re going to show me around. What are you going to show us? Walk us into a little bit of your world and what happens in your area. How would you say, “Jen, come down to Chattanooga and we’re going to paint the town on the weekend?” What does that look like for you?
Ruby Falls, the Incline, we would definitely go Downtown. They have a lot of new attractions Downtown and they would definitely go into the mountains and do some hiking and probably some retreating in the mountains.
That’s beautiful, and I imagine you’re going to have to have me go collect some canned goods somewhere. Ebony, what would you like to leave us with? If you have a mantra, a quote, or something you want to leave that’s a powerful, lasting impression?
If you don’t do you, then you won’t be done.
I love that. It goes back to saying, “Be yourself, everybody else has taken.” I know you’ve left an impression on me because you got me emotional as the guests, and I’m only usually emotional as a speaker. I can’t wait to go back and listen to what you said about the rearview mirror because that’s really powerful. I encourage anyone who’s reading to re-read this because there are so many beautiful nuggets in here. The light that you bring into is another reflection. Another mirroring is light, and the light that you bring in is super powerful.
I would suggest that if you’re reading to this and you do retreats, you have speaking engagements or you work for a company that needs to up level their group of their employees because we’ve all been captivated, enclosed in during COVID, we all need to reflect and rejuvenate, bring Ebony in to speak to your team. Even most important is if your church needs this, bring Ebony in so that she can help your whole congregation. That would be super powerful, and especially as we’re approaching the holidays. This is a time when people are getting depressed and lonely. If anybody needs that now, we all do.
Ebony, thank you so much for being a guest on our show.
Everybody, thank you so much for reading and I hope that we’ve made an impact on your day and that there’s something that you can take action on. From the bottom of my heart, I always appreciate that you’re taking time from your day to tune in on this show and. If you’re brand new, thanks for being part of this community. We hope you continue to read for years to come.
- Enchanted Reflections Modeling Studio
- Bosswife.live – Apple Podcasts
- Women’s Shelter
- Girls Inc.
- Purposeful Thinking 360
About Ebony Moore
Ebony S. Moore is a powerhouse in motivational speaking, women empowerment, and self-confidence. She is the CEO and Founder of Enchanted Reflections Modeling Studio, the host of Bosswife.live Podcast, a Motivational Speaker, and a Certified Life Coach.
On all Platforms, Ebony is continuously teaching and inspiring others on self-care, self-love, and self-confidence, giving tips and fundamental tools on improving your self-worth, while being a wife and a mother of four she stills finds time to volunteer at local organizations that focuses on helping others to be their best self in all aspects of life. Ebony’s life mission is to help others discover their passion for a successful life while evaluating their most cherished desires. Ebony sets every stage with confidence, passion, and exhilarating innovation of life. She leaves the stage with unyielding essentials of transformed thinking.
Ebony is the president of her local church organization Young women Christian council (wycc) and a youth leader not only in her local church but also in her community. Ebony has been honored to receive many prestigious awards for her commitment to excellence and community leadership. Ebony is best known for her charitable contributions by donating her time and helping with fundraisers for different religious organizations in her community.
Ebony is a native of Memphis TN where she was born and raised until the age of 18 Ebony moved to Chattanooga TN where she pursued her college education at the University of Tennessee of Chattanooga and Chattanooga college. Ebony pursued a degree in marketing and advertising and as a certified medical assistant where she currently holds a position with one of the most prestigious hospitals in Chattanooga and is currently working on her certification as a Cardiac Sonographer. Ebony’s way of life is not led by accident but by purpose while holding on to her favorite quote of life; there is no passion to be found playing small or settling for a life that’s less than the wine you are capable of living by Nelson Mandela.